Hello everyone! I stumbled upon this quote today and it moves me in so many different ways. Past, Present and Future.
I know we all (especially me) seem to think negatively at times about our life or about ourselves. It seems as if we have this little monster inside our heads telling us
We aren’t good enough, We don’t deserve that job, guy/girl, Raise, Promotion. Well I’m here to tell you those thoughts are BS and untrue! Trust me I know it takes more than a stranger on a blog to try to muffle those negative thoughts in our heads. But, it’s a start. Especially if it’s coming from someone who can relate and has been through it and still deals with it on a regular basis. Anxiety, Everyday stress and Depression play a major role in our everyday thought process and how we view ourselves. I suffered from Anxiety my entire life. I’ve told myself I’m not good which lead to me losing out on a lot, not experiencing everything I wanted to out of life and dealing with things the hard way. Judging ourselves I’ve learned is the worst thing to ever do to oneself. You can’t change the past. Whats in the past along with the people and the mistakes you’ve made are what make you, You! You know how they say everything happens for a reason, I believe that wholeheartedly. But our emotions and the way we deal with these situations and the choices we make after, those are the things that turn these situations into Life Lessons or Regrets.
I’ve noticed now what really led me down the road to where I am now Emotionally, Spiritually and Physically are Four Agreements to which I try to live by on a daily basis. I found these agreements in a book I was given from a wise and sweet woman I worked with who saw how lost I was but also saw how much potential I had. The book is Four Agreements By Don Miguel Ruiz. This simple guide/book changed my life and gave me a platform to stand up and tell myself I was in control of my life and that little but huge voice inside my head dictating my life and thought process was just Insecurity, Doubt and an overall lack of self-love. These Four Agreements are as follows:
- Be impeccable with your word. In a sense, We act on what we tell ourselves is real. Albert Ellis encouraged us to screen our self-talk for negative, irrational chatter. So, what kinds of words to you use when you describe reality? Do you lie and say hurtful and poisonous things about yourself and others? Not healthy! To be impeccable with your word is to be truthful and to say things that have a positive influence on yourself and others.
- Don’t take anything personally. The second agreement provides us with a way of dealing with potentially hurtful treatment from others. Because each person sees the world in a unique way, the way that others treat us says as much about them as it does about us. To not take anything personally is to acknowledge the unique identities of other people. We acknowledge that different people view the world differently but realize, that their views do not necessarily describe us accurately.
- Don’t make assumptions. Assuming that you know what other people are thinking or feeling about you is a limiting thought. Obviously, none of us can read minds. When we try to guess what people are thinking we will often be wrong, leading to undesirable consequences. The antidote to mind reading is to ask for evidence before concluding what people are thinking.
- Always do your best. One obvious reason for doing your best is that we cannot achieve our goals by being lazy. If you do your best, not only are you are more likely to achieve goals, but you will also avoid criticism from what Ruiz calls your internal Judge. There are also more subtle issues about doing “your best.” One is that you should not try to do better than your best. Pushing yourself too hard can cause pain, injury, and mistakes. More subtle still is the recognition that our “best” will vary from moment to moment, that, in a sense, you are always doing your best. Realize this, and your inner Judge can take a permanent vacation.
I hope this helps anyone who is struggling and is looking for a way to steer their mind in another direction when the little monster tries veering you off course. Sometimes when you have some simple but powerful words to mutter to yourself throughout the day to keep you grounded is very helpful and a lot less invasive. The point is to try to work through your negativity yourself at first. If you are unable to and are really struggling and you need help please Get it! There are so many people in this world that are going through the same thing or worse that share their experiences online just like this blog. There are also positive anonymous therapy chat groups you can join and seek an unbiased opinion or to seek information, inspiration and motivation. Don’t forget about your Family as well as friends you can trust. Thank you everyone for visiting and hopefully you can take that next step to being a better more healthy-minded YOU!
XOXO Jessica XOXO